'PLANTAIN AND DODO' POLITICS

I don't intend to demean the memory of Romano ll in anyway but after a torrid long minutes of  finding how I could circumvent a popular quote of his-'When you are in Rome,do as the Romans do', so i could give it a more decent touch without compromising the illustration I had in me, I couldn't come up with anything so I decided to do what I originally intended to, which is:'When you are in a Buka, you request for 'dodo' & when you are in a restaurant, you request for plantain'.The only difference is nomenclature,they all refer to the same thing; Musa Paradisiaca,what we commonly refer to as plantain.
The words are used interchangeably subject to the environment we find ourselves.
There are two major parties in Nigeria; the PDP and the APC.A neutral and objective minded person has to see the PDP which in this case is the 'restaurant' as everything the 'buka' lady; the APC wants to be.She wants to have a more spacious place, tastefully furnished with air conditioners and LCD screens.
Every 'buka' lady who opens up to you always says her food tastes better than what is obtainable in the best restaurants and its just that she lacks the means to 'grow'.
I am not a member of either parties so when I say politics is a dirty game,I speak from the heart.Parties never commend each other without a political undertone, which in most cases is commendation designed to portray them as being after our best interests and abhoring pettiness.
The PDP as a party have not failed us but most of the leaders they have given us have and not a majority of APC leaders have stood out at all levels.The only difference is the APC has never controlled the centre.There are people still in the PDP whom we just have to give a pass mark for their achievements.No matter the song the APC wants us to dance to now, not a few of the people they have criticised in PDP are in their midst today.A friend once told me ordinarily the APC would have adopted a new slogan when it was accepting the 'rebel' PDP Governors, something with redemption and second chance as the theme but you don't do that to people who are armed with heavy GMGs (Ghana must Go) in politics.As far as everyone in the party is concerned, there were innocent people who hung out with the wrong crowd.We both laughed our hearts out and a sober me marveled at the blunt truth encapsulated in what was nothing more than a mere banter.
If the APC had an ideology as we were meant to believe and had clearly placed the blame for all our woes on a group of people, one would have thought a rigorous selection and screening process would precede their courting of the 'rejected PDP stones' but that was not the case as they wooed every available Governor and even got rejected by two.From the earlier perception of them, a few of us thought they would soft pedal on throwing jabs anytime the ruling party uses the state machinery to bulldoze its way through anything.At some point,a lot of the decampees have had to contend with such allegations from candidates from their present party.And the fact that a high power delegation was sent to Otta to woo Gen. Olusegun Obasanjo to be the party's 'Navigator' (the word used by Bola Tinubu) is enough to erase any doubts as to APC's morals.
If one were to compile a list of  the names, time and medium the elders or senior members of this party as a disjointed entity have had to outrightly condemn everything he stands for, one could spend a whole week doing that.
When Lai Mohammed,the APC spokesman complains about rigged election results,I take solace in the fact that there are a lot of people like me out there who wonder how on earth he expects sympathy from the same people who know OBJ would have been the leader of his party if he hadn't declined their offer.A man whom I greatly admire for his firmness and decisiveness but who sadly today, is being regarded as  the one upgraded our rigging and modernized it to suit the demands of the new millennium.Here,you can't help but refer to the APC as the 'buka' lady who is quick to praise her cooking and tell you how hazardous 'oyibo' food can be but will never turn down an offer to upgrade to the 'oyibo' level.Who is deceiving who?.
Nobody can force me to accept amnesia..LaiLai!.For anything the APC accuses the PDP of, there is nothing to suggest they wouldn't do same if they attain 'restaurant' status.In saner climes,politicians and parties have to be seen to have integrity because it is everything.Not where politics is big business and 'Personal Assistant to the Special Special Adviser' offices are created to cater for the needs of cronies and still the country shamelessly goes cap in hand asking for loans,where a 'big' politician denied a ticket in a party strolls into a smaller party to pick a ticket.
Many Nigerians see El-Rufai as a beacon of hope,a man they feel can make a huge difference.With the facts at our disposal,I can't find any reason not to agree with them.We will forever be indebted to him for the great job he did as FCT Minister.Turning Abuja into a capital befitting our status was no mean feat but I disconnect with Pro-El-Rufai people when they do the unthinkable-label El-Rufai a man of integrity.
No 'Willie Willie' can erase the memory of El-Rufai's reply to allegations that he allocated lands to his wives as a Minister after the controversial demolition exercise we came to accept as the 'rain before it shines' process.He said there was no law forbidding him from doing so which in my opinion has to rank among the top five most stupid utterances by a prominent Nigerian.In as much as El-Rufai's competence as a public servant is not in doubt,In my humble opinion,it is wrong to say he has integrity.This is a man who has given students of political science a practical on the hypocrisy in Nigerian politics.He has always found nothing good in his benefactors' enemies and has always gone to bed with those enemies as soon as he falls out with them.
To save us all some precious time,I won't go into lengthy details but he was Buhari's main critic before he joined the CPC now a major component of the APC.People like El Rufai are people I have come to regard over time as the personification of our politics as it really is and have written the manual for those in need of it.No principles talk more ideology,they just want to win or move with those who win.Only reason why he is not in the winning team is because he was chased out of it before he even started politics officially.I can bet my last kobo today the APC cannot turn down President Jonathan and all those they criticise for leading us into any quagmire they perhaps rightly whip up,its putting my money where my mouth is which in this case is the safest possible place.
So when the APC condemns the actions of people it would gladly welcome into its fold and expects the world to think it won't affect anything despite them going in to assume key positions,it is no different from the 'Buka' lady who thinks she will fare better if elevated to 'Restaurant' status and to people like my humble self and I out there,asking me to tell the difference between the two is like asking me to tell you the difference between'Dodo' and plantain-No difference.