NIGERIAN MILITARY:MY HEROES OF 2014

I dreamt of being a soldier as a kid .It wasn't just because of the uniform or well polished shoes,it was because of the pride I saw on the faces of those wearing them.You just had to feel the only problem they had to contend with was making heaven because they seemed to have achieved everything they set out to just by donning that uniform.Even the long retired ones seemed to have an aura of invincibility around them.They cut the picture of people who would happily die for their country.Sometimes you felt our national anthem was made to be recited by  these great men and women alone.One of my mother's most memorable childhood moment was me asking her at age 4 what school I needed to attend to become Head of State when I grew up.I adored the military.
The Nigerian Military played big brother to West African nations and prided itself on being the best in Africa.Things have changed for worse over time.Patriotism is no longer fashionable but one thing that hasn't changed is that a soldier will always be at the war front when required to do so.Refusal or cowardice is severely punished.Things have been so fashioned from time immemorial across the world and only the difference is the time such punitive measures were adopted in various Martial Laws.
The Boko Haram Insurgency currently ravaging Northern Nigeria especially the eastern part,has turned our heroes into a laughing stock.From stories of them dashing into another country to hide and terming it a 'tactical manoeuvre' to ones of them engaging in selective patrols; where the insurgents are less likely to attack.These men don't seem anything like the late Gen.Benjamin Adekunle and a host of others whose civil war exploits are archived in our heads thanks to our parents and you can't blame them.You shouldn't.Asides the fact that this is a type of war we haven't fought before,most people forget we are third world.We wouldn't be if we could just make it go away.Even if you invest a trillion dollars in this war, you just can't re-train the military and all relevant agencies overnight.We don't have drones and satellite feeds to work with.Its not easy being a Nigerian Soldier in the thick of it and I salute their courage and commend their efforts.
Naturally,people tend to focus more on actual attacks than foiled ones which is quite sad but a thorough review of their performance viz-a-viz what they have had to work with will convince a lot of people that they haven't done too badly.They have recaptured towns declared 'Caliphates' by the delusional extremists and have contained them to a commendable extent.Realistically speaking,no one expects them and their law enforcement agent brothers to be at every Car park,mosque,church or school in the right numbers with the right equipment at all times though ideally they should and I sincerely hope we get there soon.
People who criticized the military for only trying non-commissioned officers for disobedience,AWOL or Cowardice have been silenced by the recent move to try 15 top officials including a Brigadier General.It is sad that they have had to contend with another war and that is the impression the public has been made to have of them.A lot of people in criticizing them,hardly take out time to separate them from the government.If funds allocated to them aren't properly utilized or have been misappropriated then the government should bear the brunt of our anger not the military.As a matter of fact,the government is responsible for any victory or loss these men secure.
Like I said earlier,all we need do is compare what they have to work with, the many obstacles hindering them and their performance to reach a healthy conclusion.
A lot of these ill-equipped men doing battle for us would kill to wake up to their loved ones every morning.Some haven't done that for more than a year now.Some were drafted into war zones upon return from missions abroad.Some have watched their friends and colleagues die yet they continue to defend us-our territorial integrity,our properties and most importantly our lives and those of our loved ones.These are my heroes for 2014; each and everyone soldier out there.My prayers will always be with them.

GEJ:THE BOY IS NOW A MAN

I know what good morals are but when you are in hell, you can't act like an angel.Thats suicide-Late Tupac Amaru Shakur.

Like every Nigerian out there,I want what is best for this nation.The biggest problem one could possibly ever have is to lie to oneself.We practice the dirtiest brand of politics known to mankind and it would amount to lying to ourselves to think otherwise.The most despicable things are what we have come to accept as being part and parcel of the 'game' and the day you choose to become a Nigerian politician is the day you sign up for 'civilized barbarism'.The weak get devoured or watch from the sidelines while the honourable ones bow out when reality creeps in.
Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan is probably the luckiest politician alive.From a Deputy Governor who became Governor when his boss got impeached to a Vice-President who became President when his boss died.The first time he stood for elections was for the office of President.Whichever part of history he falls,it would make a great read for the kids yet unborn.But on the down side,he didn't acquire much 'working' experience at the very top tier of Nigerian politics.What more?.He has a VP who even seems less experienced.A lucky man himself who got handed the governorship of his state on a platter.
GEJ struck you as a great guy in the beginning.The type you would want to visit every Sunday to discuss topical issues with.Eat pounded yam and share a bottle of wine (if you drink) with and watch a soccer game alongside before you leave.The type to become your childrens' favourite Uncle.Something in you just felt he would be better off serving in another capacity but he wasn't only President,he was leader of the largest political party in Africa.A party harbouring some of the most hardened dirt-masters in the game.
Jonathan exhibited traits of a man overwhelmed by the responsibility of running the PDP at first.He listened too much to his kitchen cabinet and wasn't in firm control.Ex-President,Olusegun Obasanjo was said to have stepped down as BOT Chairman after he sensed the President was being made to put him in his place.OBJ still complains about GEJ's bad friends.
The President as a leader seemed weak.His loyalists unlike that of OBJ when he was President weren't being kept in a tight leash.They did as they pleased and 'Oga' overlooked and seemed ever eager to play the ideal party man.Obasanjo had the EFCC and other means to whip everybody back into line.Like I tell people,even if the body served as a political tool,history will remember him as someone who fought corruption.It was easy because everyone was dirty.
Either way,he kept his house in order and scored points.That is an attribute of a strong president who though like GEJ,learnt being a politicial leader on the job.No one can ever regard OBJ as weak.
The erstwhile Party Chairman,Bamanga Tukur always looked like he was going to be trouble when he came on board.He was reportedly the Chairman with the highest number of aides the party had ever seen.One of those aides usurped the Powers of the then National Secretary,Prince Olagunsoye Oyinlola and this led to a face-off with the Chairman.The matter could have been better handled but it was allowed to escalate till it became public.Even if Oyinlola was perceived as an OBJ loyalist worthy of being made a party punching bag,there were better ways of demeaning his person.If the PDP heavyweights intended to use the Ogun State chieftains against him by filing a court action to challenge the validity of his candidacy then they should have avoided a messy public war that portrayed the party and its leaders as market women without taking their eyes off the prize-his removal.The cracks were starting to get visible and like the saying goes-An elder that doesn't respect himself doesn't deserve the respect of the younger ones.
Right under his nose,the President's wife engaged in a supremacy battle with the Governor of her state; Rotimi Amaechi.Sadly,her man stood by her and when Bamanga Tukur started a war with Governor Murtala Nyako,the then Governor Of his state which was reportedly motivated by his desire to have his son,Awwal Tukur become the next Governor,it became apparent the President was steering his ship straight into a storm.Then the Charade of a Nigerian Governors Forum election made it all look even more pathetic.
Everyone has his enemies in politics but when they are within,you need to thread with extra caution.Take a minute to put OBJ in GEJ's shoes and imagine what he would have done.He would have sacked Tukur if he was turning into a liability without flinching.I can't even imagine a woman married to that man having the guts to publicly square off against a Governor.He would have dropped Stella Oduah long before GEJ did and it would be typical of him to seize the opportunity to score a political point by having her prosecuted by the EFCC.The petroleum minister would have been long gone and if she ever chose to fly private,it would be from her pocket.I give the President credit where it is due but no one can deny the fact that he runs what is probably the most corruption-friendly administration we have ever had since 1999.
The only major crisis the PDP has ever had was under his watch and he deserves all the  blame for allowing Tukur last too long in office.Every politician in Nigeria is ambitious and power-seeking.One only needs to remember a half-living Suntai Danbaba of Taraba state hasn't resigned to understand what I am driving at.The rebellion against GEJ by the nPDP members,most of whom are in APC today was born out of the  desire to exploit the crappy way the party was been run for selfish purposes.The pioneers of that 'struggle' saw it as the perfect time to pursue their 'Northern President' agenda.All they needed do was pick an excuse to kick start the whole process and what better one than Tukur's excesses.When the Governors walked out on GEJ at the party's convention at Eagle square,you knew the elder had not been respecting himself.Imagine how busy Ribadu and his EFCC boys would have been the next day if they dared do that to OBJ.
After all said and done,they moved to the APC which was ready with open arms.That Crisis marked a turning point for GEJ.He became a man.Like those words by Oliver Oliphant (the Oracle) in Mario Puzo's The Fourth K-"When the worst that could possibly ever happen to a man happens to him.He is no longer afraid of anything.And that is not a very good thing".GEJ Waited for the dust to fully settle before seeing Tukur off in a most courteous manner, even saying they wanted to give him a harder task in the process.
In so doing, he exhibited an 'above mean' playing skill in the dirty game of Nigerian politics.There couldn't be a better man than Adamu Muazu to replace Tukur.He had what it takes to rally the troops and keep everything in-house.He wasn't a redundant 'has-been' who shamelessly showed the troops his only role was defending the President and nothing else.They worked hand-in-hand to fix their leaking umbrella.They set out to woo back some of their old members and also disgruntled members of the APC who had been rendered less potent by the 'Ghana Must Go (GMG)' wielding 'New Boys'.They kept all party affairs how they should be- low key.The new Chairman wasn't one who wanted to be in the papers just for the sake of it.The process of letting the world know the PDP Presidential 2015 ticket wasn't up for grabs was subtly and non-controversially done.Getting Peter Obi and Olusegun Mimiko to join the party was a master stroke.These gentlemen are the trojans of the political landscapes of their states and they are bound to be huge assets.Ibrahim Shekarau was a strategic addition as well.
The new stewardship of the party has faced a few tests which they passed in flying colours to shut up all 'Doubting Thomases'.When the Governors held the party to ransom till they were granted automatic return tickets and the Senators chose to do same,they faced a potential disaster before the polls.No outsider like myself can state in the clearest of terms how this problem was resolved.Only thing we know is some Governors were made to drop their Senate 'retirement' plans and more than half of the 73 PDP Senators didn't get the return tickets they were clamouring for.The only voices we hear are that of the Soon-to-be Ex-Senators.The loss by a majority of the Senators and of some notable names in the Governorship primaries including those of his ex-Ministers except of course the Dame's annointed candidate,Nyesom Wike is rumoured to be a well-thought out move aimed at cleansing the party.The nPDP saga destabilized the party in no small measure and Mr President deemed the cleansing necessary.New faces would give the party a new look and most importantly,they would be easier to handle.Not a few people went to town with stories of how the ex-Ministers lost and of how they were GEJ's candidates and I ask-Does anyone really think the President's Candidates would lose an election in his party's primaries?.I don't think so.At least not Jonathan's PDP of 2014 where he strolled into the Presidential primaries,picked his ticket and kissed them bye.
You'll have to admit this man learnt well.The party is firmly under his grasp and the only thing he will need to worry about is the opposition.You would be tempted to give him more marks than OBJ if you put into consideration the subtleness of his approach.There doesn't seem to be any threat of jail bars and no courtrooms.At least not just yet.The boy has turned into a man.

HEADIES 2014:The Oouhs,Aahs & Naahs.

I have nothing but mad love and respect for Ayo Animashaun.Matter of fact,I hope to get an autograph from 'Egbon' someday.This young man (abi Senior boy.Lol) built an Empire from nothing.A lot of people in conforming with the Hiphop culture brag about going from nothing to something.Even billionaire kids like Davido and Naeto C (No Hate) but truth be told,only few have genuine bragging rights.If i were to re-make Drake's STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM,I would put 'Egbon' on the cover.

Ayo started publishing Hiphop World magazine way before we even had what we now refer to as an industry.It was our own version of Benzino's The Source Magazine; the street bible.Shoutsout my momz and all the vendors she had reserve me a copy as a kid.
Many years later,he is not only still here but much bigger.Smooth Promotions now has HipTv and the Hiphop World awards in its portfolio.The Headies is the biggest Music awards in Nigeria; our Grammies so to speak.It is packaged, organised and hosted in a most laudable manner.Like every Award show,it is not devoid of controversy.From rumours of Mode9 owing all his 6 Lyricist on the Roll awards to his friendship with Ayo (they were both in Bida Polytechnic together) to Skuki winning the Next Rated Award because they paid part of the Car gift price.Then you have Burna Boy not winning when he was nominated for it because he was a Glo Ambassador while MTN were major sponsors of the Headies.We have heard them all.
Like everyone I have my 2cents on this years winners.Walk with me.

First Category-BEST RECORDING OF THE YEAR which is a non-voting category.No big hit among the songs and I am happy 2face's-LET SOMEBODY LOVE YOU didn't win because it would have been a 'paddy-paddy' thing (Apologies to Fela).Cobhams's-ORDINARY PEOPLE was a worthy winner.Great Song.
Second category-PRODUCER OF THE YEAR.A very tight one which was won by Don Jazzy for DOROBUCCI.Nice song like we all know and one of the anthems of the year.Don Baba J is in my opinion,the best Producer in the land but you can't help but feel sorry for Legendury Beatz who was nominated for Wizkid's CARO.Dude killed it and I think side by side,CARO was just as popular a song as DOROBUCCI and spoke more of the Producer's prowess.You would give DOROBUCCI more props for composition but not production.Well,here I have no doubt it was the people's voice.We all love Don Jazzy plus DOROBUCCI was I think the last hit so far this year.Very fresh in a lot of voters' minds.
Then the BEST MUSIC VIDEO was won by the Genius-Clarence Peters for Flavour's ADA ADA.He deserved it.Feel sorry for Kemi Adetiba though, a woman on a fast rise in a man's world. She did a great job on Niyola's TOH BAD.Watch out for this lady.
Sean 'Oluwa' Tizzle beat Burna Boy for the 2nd year in a row though in 2 different categories.While I was a part of voices raised last year over Burna Boy's Next Rated category snub,I remain mute this time out.Burna had a great album but again,one has to take into consideration the time voting started.A lot of albums had passed under '3rd Mainland' since then.I would have given it to Burna if it were up to me.But Sean Tizzle I must admit,won me over with THE JOURNEY album.Tight stuff.Songs like TAKE IT and PERFECT GENTLEMAN will be on my playlist for a long time.He had LOKE LOKE with 9ice which was really awesome.
LET SOMEBODY LOVE YOU by 2face won the Best R&B Single.Personally,I thought Timi Dakolo's IYAWO MI was a better song but like we all know,2baba has that star power.A lot of people would have voted for him even if the song were unreleased.Is that a bird or a plane?.No.Its 2face fool.Carry go,No Shaking.People who haven't even heard both songs are already arguing in his favour.
Then the BEST POP SINGLE headie was carted away by The Mavin Crew's DOROBUCCI; Its second of the night.This was really tight as well and quite frankly,anyone would be deemed most deserving.Yemi Alade's JOHNNY was my most radio friendly song of the year.Whenever it came on anywhere,it just BANGed you hard.No getting used to it.Davido's AYE was something else, plain lyrics and most pleasant on the ears.Again I feel sorry for Wizkid and all the little kids who sang 'Looking for CARO' for most of the year.Even MMG's Wale tweeted these lyrics.Oritsefemi's DOUBLE WAHALA was on fire for a long time and no one would have bated an eyelid if it won.Same with Dr Sid's SURULERE.A song i love so much.When the crown fits all,you just throw it into the air and see on whose head it lands.DOROBUCCI won.
Onto the BEST REGGAE/DANCEHALL SINGLE.It went to Patoranking's GIRLIE OH featuring Tiwa Savage who in my opinion made the song what it was.No disrespect to Patoranking,kid has done great for himself but this song's emergence as a winner and as a hit (Not a Monster one though) generally speaking is a testament to what a good promo can do.In this case,it blew a decent effort out of proportion.Song just kept on popping up everywhere till you loved it-HipTv,MTV Base,AIT et al.For me,Cynthia Morgan is a better reggae artiste than Patoranking.All her singles since been signed onto Jude Okoye's Northside Inc have been top notch.I see him fizzling out just like General Pype when the 'fresh air' he has brought turns stale.Sheyi Shay has not had a wack song out thus far and MURDER was a more than decent effort but I think Jesse Jagz's BAD GIRL deserved this award more than all other nominees.Love it like crazy.Song was off the hook and is by miles 'Reggae' Jagz best post-Choc City effort.

And then (Drum rolls).......the BEST RAP ALBUM category which surprisingly is listed as non-voting.Olamide owned the year under review no doubt.His BADDEST GUY EVER LIVETH album won this category and deservedly so but give this award to Phyno for NO GUTS NO GLORY and I will tell you No qualms.Phyno re-defined Ibo rap and paved the way for a lot of 'UnNigga Raw' dope cats from the East who remind you just how powerful Hiphop is.It makes a plain fool out of you.You could bump a good joint like forever without even understanding the lyrics.Those were the only two true contenders as far as am concerned and I would have handed it to Phyno.NGNG was ill.To say his rise has been meteoric is an understatement.Like he said in the MAN OF THE YEAR (Obago) joint-'2years ago,I introduced myself,2years later now they introduce themselves'.Choice was okay sha,Baddo did huge things.
Producer Wizzy Pro's EMERGENCY clinched the BEST COLLABO award and I bet that Headie (Or Sound Sultan like Julius Agwu would say) is still shedding tears.This song reminds you of those songs you listen to not because you feel them but because they were thrust at you by nature-Cool FM,HipTv,MTV Base and co.Dr Sid and Don Jazzy's SURULERE ought to have taken this one.Now you start to wonder if people actually voted for this song.Even a lot of radio presenters,DJs and VJs don't know this song talk more regular folk who just do downloads,TV & radio.Perhaps someone mobilised voters from their 'constituency'.
Next Up, BEST RAP SINGLE and Phyno's PARCEL took that away.Had to be landslide.This joint is just so copasetic.From the beat which was something else (Big up Major Bangz.Deserved a Best Producer nomination for this) to Phyno's delivery and also the Video which was the best I had seen in a long while.Clarence Peters ought to be bronzed for it.

BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE(Male) went to Timi Dakolo's IYAWO MI.Another worthy winner.Cobhams's ORDINARY PEOPLE was there as well.Could have gone either way.The female version of this award went to Niyola for LOVE TO LOVE YOU.Well......Warreva!!

Then the big one-NEXT RATED category which comes with a car.First I must say Skales had no business being here.I am a huge Runtown fan but I didn't expect him to win.Orezi is starting to get the respect he deserves and that is good but it was always going to be between Patoranking and Yemi Alade.Yemi hasn't really done anything huge since JOHNNY.She set a standard so high with that song, it was always going to be hard to keep up.Her TANGERINE is a very good song but JOHNNY is JOHNNY and she better find him fast!!!
Patoranking though was the clear favourite.Generated quite a lot of buzz, had endless features and is the current industry darling.Had to win.
I hate it when I love something and my obsession with the truth wouldn't just let its faults slide.Another Headies talk point-Kcee's TAKE OVER  winning the REVELATION OF THE YEAR Headie.A category that had Tiwa Savage,Sean Tizzle and Burna Boy.I don't think this is the voice of the people but again,maybe someone mobilized their 'Constituency'.
Then a non-voting category; LYRICIST ON THE ROLL and the Headie went to Jesse Jagz's for GOD ON THE MIC.Ice Prince was a nominee with SHOTS ON SHOTS.Only two destinations it had to go if you ask me.I doubt if the organisers or panelists heard Phenom's TKG Freestyle.Sheer Lyrical Genius.Best Freestyle I ever heard by a Nigerian MC.Every line was one for the archives.Would have handed him this headie and made him pay for burning my headphones.
Oritsefemi won the BEST STREET HOP Headie with DOUBLE WAHALA.Indeed it was the streets' voice and he should thank his stars The Mavins didn't do a DOROhatrick here.Could have been a different story if the Original and not Remix of Lil Kesh's SHOKI was nominated.Streets hopped to it no doubt.
Then the BEST ALTERNATIVE SONG category which was won by BOJ'S BOLAJI.Really an 'I no send' category So....Warreva!!
Then another big one-ALBUM OF THE YEAR which was probably the tightest of the lot.It had Burna Boy,Phyno,Sean Tizzle and was clinched by Olamide-BADDEST GUY EVER LIVETH.This category makes me think how good a polygamist I could be because I really love all of them!!.And from an objective stand point,they all are phenomenal.Congrats Baddo the lucky bride.I take solace in the fact that others are 'Chopping the Money' and smiling for a lot of cameras.
Mavin, Reekado Banks won the ROOKIE OF THE YEAR Headie.My kid sister mimics his DOROBUCCI dance moves a lot and his singles are okay.Great talent I must say.What would you expect anyway if he was good enough to be signed by Don Baba J?.But if it were up to me,I would have nominated POSLY TD and LIL KESH and handed 'KESHI' the award.BADDO said on stage-'F**k that Sh*t..Lil Kesh is the Rookie of the Year'.Mean as it gets.Lol.i love POSLY and Kid is capable of doing huge things.He is taking no prisoners,busy killing everything in sight.Best watch out.
Davido was deservedly ARTISTE OF THE YEAR.Been long an artiste had two monster hits in the space of less than a year-SKELEWU and AYE.Plus the MAMA Awards; he owned the year so to speak.And his carting home the SONG OF THE YEAR Headie with AYE is a testament to that.Mad props.Feel sorry again for Miss Alade who popped up in that category as well with JOHNNY.She deserves something for it and *In her Voice*-'I don't know what to DOooo!!!'
Then the Most Controversial talk point of the night,Sarkodie winning the BEST AFRICAN ACT category.Wait for this...He beat Mafikizolo!!.Naaaah!!.Mafikizolo owned Africa with KHONA,even my Grandma knows that.It would raise a lot of eyebrows if they didn't win by a landslide (Thank God the Headies has no INEC) but an outright loss?Haba!!.This Headie must be shedding tears on Sarkodie's shelf.Someone please take it home-Jo'burg!!

Sir Victor Uwaifo was this Year's HALL OF FAME inductee.A true legend.Will tell my Mama that whenever I'm in the mood to hear her sing-'Joromi oo Jo mi Doh..Kichi Kacha'.Lol.
Overall, i must commend the whole crew, the 2014 Headies is one for the archives.Waiting for Next Year (No postponements please).

MARRIAGE:A MUSLIM'S VIEW

The best reason to marry a woman is for her fear of Allah and obedience to him.Marry her for her religion.
Marriage is an essential part of a Muslim's life as one has completed half his deen by doing such.But a lot of Muslims fail to take into perspective the basic pre-requisites which if not met,could lead to the collapse of a marriage.A lot of people these days get married just because they feel its 'time'.This could mean being financially buoyant enough or because the parents have so decreed.
A basic thing intending spouses should look out for in themselves is MATURITY;Emotional and psychological.For Starters,a person who wants to get married only because he or she is rich enough or because all their peers have gotten married is someone whose marriage life in 10-13years is what we see around us a lot today.That stage when there are no more dates,special gifts,laughter and long chats.That stage where you would both love a particular TV programme and yet watch in separate rooms.When conversations are limited to a 'must-have' basis.
A lot of Muslims under-value the Sanctity of marriage and thus,have not been able to derive the blessings accruing from it.Its a source of Ever-lasting Peace and Joy if you meet who is right.The most productive people on earth never take for granted these two elements.When you are happy and contented with yourself,you are always at your best.When you aren't,you go from a productive person to a workaholic who bury themselves in work because they are running from something or because its their only source of joy.You only get temporary respite when you run away from your problems.
If you marry a righteous lady you love, you put yourself in the best possible position to fulfill your marital obligations as stipulated by the Quran and Sunnah.
A hadith of the Prophet (SAW) goes-
'If a husband and wife look at themselves with love, Allah looks at them both with Mercy'.
The true test for those who say they abide by this hadith is being married for at least 8 years and above and still loving each other like its the first day.Most men today think its 'manly and african' to be in charge at all times.They just have to show friends who come visiting 'who the man is' by ordering their wives in a commanding tone to serve them.Speaking in an unruly manner in front of kids who grow up wanting to be everything like their father and lacking the capacity to siev good from evil.You look up at their wedding photo and see two people who were in love...or at least that thought they were in love.They both treated the marathon as a Sprint.
No one would treat who they TRULY love that way.
A matured man who loved hanging out,watching soccer games or shooting pool with friends as a get-away or soothing measure knows things change when he is hooked.She is all of that now because even if he still sticks to those measures,she is the last person he will see and whether consciously or not, she has the power to disrupt any respite he has gained.
So its important he keeps her happy.Get her that iphone or ipad if you can or that beautiful necklace because she could fix all your bad days for free.Nothing like coming home to find her in high spirits after a bad day,it rubs off on you.Problems are better solved when they don't weigh you down and motivation stems from your frame of mind.
There are bound to be disputes as even the Prophet(SAW) once stayed away from his wives for 29 days.Ability to resolve your differences in the best possible manner speaks volumes of your maturity.It takes a matured person to understand why Allah has made him the Imam (leader of his family) and why the Prophet (SAW) described a woman as a rib.The upper part is crooked and if you try to straighten it,you will break it.So treat them with care.Allahu Akbar.
With this permanently engraved in your psyche,there are times you would find yourself laughing later at her rants.Women are such babies.
Personally,I think if a couple truly love themselves,they would trash out issues without resorting to 3rd parties (Parents,siblings,friends et al).True Love has no room for pride and unnecessary bickering as a common ground is usually found in the fear of losing themselves.I was raised to believe I am responsible for all key decisions in my life and should be ready to shoulder the consequences.If I need my parents to help me choose a life partner,fix my marriage or tell me my marriage is over,then perhaps I shouldn't have gotten married at all instead of giving birth to innocent kids that I will forever feel guilty of not providing an ideal environment for growing up for.
A lot of people might ask how to know if you have found the ideal partner and I will say what I always say-if you need anyone to tell you you have found who you truly love then you haven't because if you do then you wouldn't need anyone to tell you.Its a beautiful feeling words can't describe.
All you need do is submit everything to the will of Allah as He knows Best.

'Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you and Perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you.Allah knows while you know not'.Q:2:216.

How many Muslims today still recite the Istakhaarah to seek Allah's Guidance as regards the suitability of their intended spouses?.
The ones whose parents didn't choose for them have allowed themselves to be swept away by the whirlwind of love and after some years they find themselves getting irritated for weeks by the smell of their partner's fart or the colour of her favourite dress.No difference between those whose union wasn't natural (a product of love).
May Allah Guide us.Ameen.

FOREIGN CONSPIRACY?

John Ridley once said-"It does no good to believe what does not exist to the extent that one cannot focus on what is real.That would be the greatest tragedy of any 'Conspiracy' "
The thing with Conspiracy theories is that ordinarily no one wants to listen to them.They are a disruptive factor particularly when the government and entire populace should be united against a common enemy or threat.
The government in a bid to keep people confident and relaxed would resort to lies and distortion of facts and wouldn't deem itself to be bereft of morals.
Sadly in most cases,when a problem is allowed to linger for too long or many questions are left unanswered,conspiracy theories become inevitable.From the most ridiculous to the more believable ones.
As far as conspiracy theories go,we have heard them all-From the CIA using Nigerians to take out Gen.Sani Abacha to OBJ shoving the late President Yar'adua on us because he was privy to the fact that he had a short time to live but never in our history have we had to contend with so many conspiracy theories than the 'Boko Haram era'.
From the most ridiculous-they being supported by the two prominent political parties to the believable ones which I must admit have transformed from being believable to very possible over time.A colleague of mine once told me he was meant to understand the Boko Haram sect was used as a tool by Northern politicians who rallied around in no small measure to make the polity ungovernable for President Jonathan after they felt cheated when he got the ticket in 2011.Prior to that,the sect was only been sponsored by rich members and few politicians supporting them in their mission to avenge the death of their late founder.So when the 'Big Boys' came on board,they gave them all they could.
Some well acquainted with the Intelligence under-world terrain and global terrorism network even introduced them to other terrorists across the globe and facilitated training trips where they acquired bomb-making skills and so on.These 'Big Boys' not only included politicians but retired military top brass.The Sect all along,never digressed from its primary objective-Islamitization of Northern Nigeria.
The 'Big Boys' backed out when they felt the whole mission was turning into something else.At some point,the CIA came in.
They have been known to run covert Ops to achieve a long or short term goal for their government.They have been known to sponsor wars while the government sings a different tune.I laughed at this theory and dismissed it as a Classic Hollywood script that isn't likely to be shot anytime soon.But I have had cause to have a re-think because of recent happenstances.
There was a report of a helicopter dropping food supplies and other things in Adamawa complete with eyewitness accounts some time back.With the Niger-Delta militants back then,they were said to have gotten their arms from foreigners who paid for illegal oil in cash and arms.How do Boko Haram get arms?.It definitely can't be from all their raids on Military establishments.
They now flaunt anti-aircraft weapons and grenade launchers.Let us cast our minds back to the Chad ceasefire which was facilitated by the Chadian President,Idris Derby.He was said to have assured us he was dealing with genuine Boko Haram members.It turned out to be a ruse.Derby reportedly dodged Nigerian government officials immediately after and was even reported ill at some point.Sufficient evidence has also been adduced to prove Gov. Modu Sheriff, an alleged Boko Haram sponsor wasn't on the flight to Chad with President Jonathan,they met at the airport and the President had no chance to distance himself from him in public and even while meeting with the Chadian President.
Moreover,he was presumably focused on the price-ridding us of this insurgency.There have also been reports of millions of dollars having been paid to the Chadian President by our government.
When planes traceable to our government were intercepted in South Africa, an anonymous source at the Villa said the US was blocking arms sales to us on grounds of human rights abuses by our soldiers and other security agents.This was way before the US officially so said on November 12th 2014.A lot of minds were polluted and valid questions which would have elicited the right answers then weren't asked no thanks to the 'bring him down' syndrome.
The opposition party through its spokesperson even said Asari Dokubo was on the first plane which turned out to be a lie.Our plans to buy Cobra helicopters and arms from the US have been botched and I ask if we infringe on the human rights of Boko Haram prisoners as alleged then maybe the US has forgotten Guantanamo Bay is not a holiday resort.We have heard what happens there.Why is our case different?.I smell something fishy.
In the space of a short time,a confidante and regular visitor of the Chadian President has been arrested with 19 SAM2 missiles after failing to pass through the Chad-Sudan border despite waving a pass from the Chadian Presidency and now a cargo plane en route Chad which was granted permission to land in Kano Airport due to technical issues had to be arrested after it was discovered to be loaded with arms and even a helicopter.
The Russians have denied owning the plane and are pointing fingers at the French.One thing is certain though,if it were for a legitimate purpose (French peace keeping troops) as is been bandied in some quarters, i don't think there would be any need for the arms to be flown covertly.Theories about the Chadian Government being a conduit or a pawn in a grand conspiracy are sure worth a listen.
Ordinarily,a President from Chad would think twice before taking us for a ride to negotiate with fake terrorists.We command respect in this region at the very least.Can the US who know the situation on ground and even offered their assistance now refuse to sell arms to us because they think we are barbarians?.Can anyone truly absolve the Chadians of any complicity in our woes?.
Its conspiracy theory season and let them all pour in,we will listen.No one can blame us for doing that.